For Me, But Maybe for You, Too.

The past four months have been excruciatingly painful. I lost my champion and my greatest cheerleader on May 11. My dad epitomized the definition for the phrase “unconditional love.” I was not prepared for his death. I don’t think any of my siblings were. He’d lived with a number of health issues but his big, strong heart kept beating and he persevered with The fortitude of a lifelong soldier, coupled with the quiet humor he cultivated in childhood and never lost.

I’m not going going to offer up a play-by-play of what happened. This is meant to be a short note, mostly for me, to remember a song that I heard this morning. As I listened to the lyrics, I realized they perfectly encapsulated how I’ve been feeling. The song offers support and encouragement, which, to be honest, I’m not sure I’m ready to hear. I’m just not sure I want to “feel better.” The sharp, nearly constant pain reminds me of the tremendous, gaping hole in my heart. Am I being masochistic? Maybe. I don’t know. My brain is all over the place. I’m not making much sense but then again, this post isn’t for you. It’s for me. If you get something out of it, good. If not, come back later for more “structured” pieces.

Back to the song.

It’s “Relief” by Sixx: A.M.

Here are the lyrics:

We’re all alone in your house of panic
(It’s just an ordinary thing)
And all the things that you love make you manic
(But you can’t take them to the grave)But you look like you could use a friend
Someone to make this madness end
To make this madness end
Someone to make this madness end

And in a little while)All the noise in your head will fade away
And you will find some relief then
Yeah, you will find some relief then

And in a little while
All the weight in the world feels like a light rain
And you will find some relief then

Your heart beats but you feel like you’re dying
(It’s just an ordinary thing)
You’re so numb but you can’t stop crying
(Wake up the horror masquerade)But you look like you could use a friend
Someone to make this madness end
Someone to make this madness end
Someone to make this madness end

And in a little while
All the noise in your head will fade away
And you will find some relief then
Yeah, you will find some relief then

And in a little while
All the weight in the world feels like a light rain
And you will find some relief then

In just a little while
All the noise in your head will fade away
And you will find some relief then
Yeah, you will find some relief then
And in a little while
All the weight in the world feels like a light rain
And you will find some relief

Songwriters: James Michael / Nikki Sixx / Dj AshbaRelief lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Downtown Music Publishing Llc, Atlantic Music Corp., Chrome Bone Music, Red Level Three Music, Sixx Gunner Music